Esmée Peperkamp, the anonymous female cyclist who made Picnic PostNL allegations, speaks out publicly

Peperkamp rode for Picnic PostNL from 2021 through 2025, but last year she made the switch to Volkerwessels. “Afraid of the reactions,” she initially shared her story anonymously, but it soon began to feel like a burden:

“And I also feel that I can help the people around me with my story,” she says. And so she is now sharing her experiences under her own name after all.

Why did Peperkamp view her time at Picnic PostNL as a negative experience? First and foremost, it was a physical issue, because: “I haven’t had a period since 2021, and I have RED-S, or relative energy deficiency in sport," she said.

"I developed this condition during my time at DSM and later at Picnic-PostNL." Due to insufficient hormones and a weakened immune system, she is now struggling with long COVID.

Peperkamp fell ill in the spring and can’t even go for a walk these days. She blames Picnic PostNL for this. “This could have been prevented,” she says, referring to the team’s failure to conduct hormone testing.

She calls the medical checkup “substandard” in any case. “I’ve taken physical steps backward and have been under severe mental strain.”

Another reason she didn’t go public with her story right away was the contract with her former team. It stated that you would be fined if you spoke negatively about the team.

According to Peperkamp, this clause is included in everyone’s contract, and according to Picnic PostNL, it is “common practice in the sports world.” “We regret it when riders—male or female—later have issues with provisions in the agreements they’ve signed with the team,” the team said in its response.

"We realise that such provisions may be perceived as burdensome by those involved and may raise questions about a sense of security," said Picnic PostNL, which introduced the provision to prevent confidential information and sensitive business data from being disclosed.

Eventually, Peperkamp became unhappy because, in addition to her hormonal imbalance, she also suffered other injuries. For example, her trainer ignored her saddle and back problems, acting on instructions from management.

Irritable bowel syndrome and lactose intolerance—which caused Peperkamp to feel nauseous and weak when eating the team’s meals—were also ignored.

"‘I just had to get used to it,’ they said," according to Peperkamp, who wasn’t allowed to express her emotions either. “If you’re emotional or need to cry, don’t do it by the bus. You don’t come back to the bus until you’re back to normal,” they told her.

For three years, she ate a normal diet, but her body never adjusted to it. “Very unhealthy,” she calls it.

Still, Peperkamp stayed with the team for a long time. “Surviving, putting yourself in the spotlight with other teams, just to keep your dream alive,” she explains.

And so she kept quiet, even when she suffered a concussion and was later declared “mentally unfit” and fought for weeks just to be allowed to stay with the team at all.

As of 2026, Peperkamp is not yet certain, because “no one listens to you, and decisions are made for you that ultimately aren’t in your best interest” at her former team.

In a statement, Picnic PostNL noted that an independent investigation has been launched. The team therefore declined to comment on Peperkamp’s specific case.